Spring’s Promise
Hi friends, it's been quite a while since I was present on my blog. This past year was absolutely the most challenging year I’ve experienced. Dealing with the heartbreaking and unexpected loss of my darling mom, combined with an isolating global pandemic that eroded the small business I worked hard to create, zapped all my creativity. I spent most of the year in survival mode oscillating between anxiety and depression.
As the days start to get longer and we have a vaccine that can help prevent the spread of Covid-19, I feel truly hopeful for the first time in a very long time. I reflect on the cycles of life as we move from winter into spring and begin enjoying the world in ways that were inaccessible this time last year. I was hiding, raw from grief, but I can now see that I needed a period of rest, of processing, and tendernessI feel like a tree who has been dormant for so long I’ve forgotten what it's like to blossom and burst with leaves. As I see the first tiny buds on my empty branches I rejoice realizing spring will come again, and soon I will be proud of my growth that happened quietly in the dead of winter.
Its taken me time to integrate this new self with the person I was and in many ways someone I will never be again. I needed time to find myself again and see the joy and sparkle in life. I let myself focus on feeling good and finally removed the pressure of creating, but when I look around, I realize I was creating all along. I created a new home and watched it come to life before my eyes, starting from dirt. This new home means so much to me - it’s a fresh start, it’s hope for the future, it’s a comforting safe place where I feel I can grow and nurture myself and my family.
I was recently sent a very special book from my wonderful sister-in-law, My Inner Sky by Mari Andrews. In the book she shares the story of Persephone. As a lover of Greek Mythology (and because I actually played the goddess in the starring role of my 6th grade theater troupe) I was familiar with the tale, but I’ll share a little with you.
Persephone was a greek goddess known for hanging out in the wild flower fields of Mount Olympus living a charmed life. Her father arranges a marriage between her and Hedes and she is forced to go live with him in Hell. Persephone’s mother Demeter is so distraught she causes famine before Persephone is allowed to return to her mother she is tricked by Hedes to eat pomegranate seeds which binds her to hell half of the year, signifying summer and winter. Persephone lives in both these realities, she is both the Queen of Death and the Goddess of Spring.
Once footloose and fancy free with joy and niavate, she now has a depth and darkness that reflects her time with Hedes. Persephone embodies both the dark and the light and this resonates with me so much. I know I will always have with me this new found depth and understanding of the dark. I am no longer a naive little girl, but maybe that’s where my new power lies.
